“DISCOMBOBULATED IN LOVE”
Anne Roiphe once said “People
always tell me either A. you love him/her. B. you hate him/her. My usual
answer? C. All of the above. When I came across this it reminded me of what an
old friend of mine said “Tj I love you and hate you at the same time” and I thought
to myself the human heart is a very strange vessel, love and hate can exist
side by side. Why is that? I don’t think we have a complete answer for that,
and
I am sure everyone has their own opinion on that.
Just want to share my thought on
being “Discombobulated in love”, which of it happens almost to everyone one of
us. Three words that can either hype you up and at the same time break you,
because of loss of meaning to it; “I LOVE YOU”, I am speaking in terms of relationships.
We have so many unanswered questions concerning this topic. This noun word has
even paralyzed people who have seen more days than us.
We all have asked what I call “The
why’s of love?” to make typical examples ; if h/she loved me why did they hurt
me, if h/she loved me they would have not hurt me right? Why does love hurt so much?
We all somehow victims of these questions. I would love to speak on a man’s
perspective and use my own experiences . The question we all
need to ask ourselves is “why am in this relationship?” because I believe that
being in a relationship or loving someone is more than feelings is also a
choice. The problem with most of us guys is we want to understand woman and
love comes second, but I believe woman are made to be loved, not understood. We
spend so much time wanting to understand a lot of unnecessary things and we
forget to love completely, we neglect giving ourselves away, we concentrate on
what they don’t have and turn a blind eye on what they have. We don’t embrace
and cherish what is already existing.
Love is a choice and also a
sacrifice, a lot of people including myself sacrificed their own life's, careers,
jobs and families to invest in a person they fell in love with, but in return
what they expect to get is not there. It hurts to invest everything you have in
someone who will later on jump off the boat. We all have to come to a point
were by we understand that people change, and as they change the one mistake we
do in relationship is not to detect that. Vital things that destroy relationship
is not dishonesty, cheating etc. those are the results. I believe its
communication breakdown and not also coming to terms of talking about your
indifference's. I still believe in “meant to be relationships” there is a lot of
people who I knew they were meant to be but because of not knowing how to
manage their indifference, misconceptions of love, counterfeit concepts about
love, choices taking because of mismanaged emotions these things break a lot of
relationships and also don’t let good sex confuse your heart and make you think
you’re in love. . “I LOVE YOU” has left a lot of people with scars, resentment,
pain, confusion and some with the attitude of not loving again.
But in all this discombobulating
about love, I still believe in it. No matter how many times you have been hurt
or abused in the name of love, love is still a beautiful thing regardless. When you’re in love make sure you
really are in love and not just in love with the idea of being in love. As much
as this is painful but it’s true that, Love is weak when there is more doubt
than there is trust, but love is most strong when you learn to trust even with
all the doubts. Never give up on love, though people spit on it, abuse it, stump on it, take
advantage of it but you cherish it, embrace it no matter how much you have been
hurt , forgive and love again. All in all we not perfect but we share something
so powerful, special and perfect – love.
“Love makes life so confusing, but
would you want to live without it?” anonymous
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